From Interview with Wendy Rains, by Carol Forest
Wendy Rains’s resume runs the gamut from Designer of Architecture, Interiors, and Fashion, to Environmentalist, Journalist, Magazine Publisher, Author, Radio Talk Show Host, and Voice Over artist. Needless to say her life has been filled with rich, varied experiences. She never imagined adding care giver to that list. But as life took its twists and turns, in 2002, she and her dad found themselves buying land together and building homes in Todos Santos.
Her parents were pretty unconventional, having built multiple homes and moving their family around quite a bit. Her mom had been diagnosed and living with dementia for many years. Instead of placing her in an assisted living facility, she lived in her own condo with round the clock care by a loving Filipino family. She no longer recognized her husband or kids, and her particular condition rendered her mute. When the move to Mexico became a reality, her mom’s Filipino family asked to have her live with them….back home in the Philippines, on the outlying island of Occidental Negro in Bacolod City, where for 7 years, she spent the end of her days. Unconventional? Indeed.
In the early years in Todos Santos, her Dad only came down now and then for short stays, and moved there full time in 2010. At the time of this writing he is 96 years old and in spite of his maintaining a certain level of independence, Wendy has found herself in the position of caring for him. As a senior herself, looking after her aging dad in a foreign country, was in lockstep with the family tradition of unconventional aging in place.
Todos Santos has attracted quite a few expats “of a certain age”, and it’s no secret that many of them are single with no family around. There are also couples who have had to leave town in search of senior or assisted living, or end of life care for their spouse. These facilities or services just don’t exist in the area. Besides, once one has chosen to live and enjoy their life there, leaving there isn’t something you really want to do!
With a knack for recognizing what’s missing or needed, Wendy started on a new path of creating the first hospice style group of volunteers. In early 2017 she had arranged for Elena Moreno to present a forum on Death and Dying in Mexico. It was so important to share all the information one needs to know if a death occurs while in Mexico. (The paperwork alone is mind-boggling). The forum attracted over 100 people, and the majority of attendees were definitely “of a certain age”.
Wendy had met Dan Hodul, a gentleman who had a lot of experience in senior assistance in Northern California, and they decided to have sheets for people to sign if interested in becoming hospice care givers. Over 25 people signed up, and that was the birth of Comfort Care & Assistance…and the start towards realizing her vision to fill a serious void.
Dan conducted the first 3 training sessions in the Spring, with the promise of starting up again in late fall, when most people return to town from summers away. In the meantime, Wendy did a lot of legal research and spent time creating this website, discussing ideas of how to proceed, and laying out a longer term plan for the group.
Thanks to friend and volunteer Tracy Durland, Wendy was put in touch with Camille Adair, an RN who has devoted her life in the US creating and putting into action her Solace training workshops. She has also produced a documentary, Solace: Wisdom of the Dying.
It was serendipity at play….and Wendy and Camille immediately planned for her to visit Todos Santos in December for the volunteers to participate in a 3 day workshop to complete their training. The workshop was a huge success and the trained group of volunteers are now ready to serve. Comfort Care & Assistance is comprised of a group of friends volunteering to help friends in need at the end of life. It is not a for profit business, but trained members of the group can make themselves available to help friends when other needs occur, such as post surgery, subject to their own arrangements.
So, what’s in store for the future? Once Comfort Care & Assistance is well established and running smoothly, Wendy’s vision is to attract investors to help her create the “senior village” she has in mind. A charming, inviting environment for all three stages of aging in place…Senior Living, Senior Assistance, and End of Life care.
Those of us who know Wendy, have every confidence in her drive and persistence, and know in our hearts she will do everything possible to make this happen for her beloved adopted pueblo.
(Taken from an interview with Wendy, by Carole Forest)